Conversations: Trust
by Sam Worth
Summary: [Between Velocity and Thirteen] David wasn't a man to hold grudges and yet whenever he saw Colby he felt the unwillingness to trust again. And it angered him that he seemed to be the only one struggling with this. If he couldn't trust Colby again, he may at least understand why Don considered allowing Colby back into the team. It would only take one confrontation to find out.


_A/N: Thanks to everyone who read the last "Conversations" story and thank you Anaid for your kind words._

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 **Conversations: Trust**

The door to the break room flew shut with only a small bang compared to the energy from the man closing it. The same door Don had just walked through to get himself a new cup of coffee.

"Why aren't you angry?" David demanded, seeking the direct confrontation.

Don ignored David for a moment and finished his preparation for new coffee. He just had informed his team he was looking into whether Colby could stay on the team or not.

"Colby not only used your trust, he could have destroyed your career." The anger revolved around David in a never ending circle.

Taking a deep breath, Don turned and faced his friend. "My career?"

David started to count with his fingers. "He knew you risked a lot as you let him stay on the team after the first time we met Dwayne Carter. And he didn't do anything to protect you for the final showdown. If he had died on the ship, you would have suffered the consequence, because you let him stay on the team, you trusted him and -"

"I get it."

The anger bled away and left only wariness in its wake. David fell down on the sofa. "So why aren't you angry? I can't even think straight and you pretend to be at peace with what he had done."

"Oh, I am angry. I am still angry. But the question is, does Colby deserve my anger? Is he the right target?" Don leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms.

He didn't need math or profiling to understand David's glare. "Of course. He betrayed us. I get that he just did his job, but the betrayal was personal."

Don nodded. "That's right. So what does it say about his character that he finished his job despite the high personal price he had to pay?"

"If he had any doubts about the price," David narrowed his eyes, "he shouldn't have agreed to this undercover job." Anger was a strong emotion, never quitting.

Don chuckled. "If life would be so easy, we all would be out of jobs."

"What?"

"Do you really think Agent Kirkland went to Colby and asked him if he wanted to do an undercover job, where he would end up in lock-up, had to betray his friends and get tortured?"

David shrugged. He refused to provide the answer he surely knew.

"But Agent Kirkland knew about the consequences beforehand. He knew them well as he offered Colby the opportunity to do something for his country. To protect his country. And it wouldn't even be a betrayal because Carter had already betrayed his country."

Don paused to let the words sink just as everybody else had given him time to think about their points. Except his father maybe, he had been subtly like an elephant about letting go of his anger and getting on.

"Do you really think Colby knew about us then? Do you think he expected to have friends and partners while he worked undercover? That he would mature and change so much?"

Again David refused to give an answer. He studied instead the floor proving how well the questions had hit their marks.

"Why do think most undercover jobs are done by junior agents? Despite or because of their inexperience they're useful. But the real reason is how easy it is to get them to agree. They're all so eager to impress and show their worth. It doesn't take much of an argumentation to get them to believe in the rightfulness of their job."

The coffee machine started to fill the room with its aroma. Neither of the men took notice.

"And it couldn't be further from the truth. I'd never agree to another undercover job as long as I have the ability to say no. I've had done my fair share. But nobody had ever told me, before a job, about the price and betrayal such undercover jobs always mean."

David tilted his head sideways until he caught Don's glance. He smirked. "You also spied on your co-workers?"

"No." Don chuckled and shook his head. "No. My target had been some drug dealers." He looked behind David as if he could see his past there. "Help to take bad people off the street, protect the youth and so on and so on. It was easy to sell and I bought it willingly. Wouldn't you want to bleed a little for the greater good?" He shook his head again. "Except, you know, at the end of the day, there had been no greater good."

The coffee machine finished and Don allowed the room to lapse into silence as he shut it down and poured himself a fresh cup.

"What happened?" David asked from behind. He stood up from the couch and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Like Colby I didn't know it, but you will always betray friends. On the outside they were drug dealers but to do my job I had to get near. I laughed with them, I shared stories with them and got to know them and their kids. I learned about their hope to break the endless circle of violence and poverty." He pressed his lips together before he finished: "And I watched their crying kids at the court as they were sentenced."

David looked down with a frown on his face. "It's ugly." Looking up back to Don he gave him a small smile. "But highly successful."

Don rubbed at his head as if he could scrub away the memories. Then he shook his head. "I am angry, but I am angry at Agent Kirkland, because he had the knowledge and the experience. He knew exactly and with all the consequences attached to what he had talked Colby into, what he asked of Colby. Colby is as much a victim as a committer but Colby is the one who has to suffer the consequences."

None of them needed the reminder that the other person had paid for his loyalty with his life. It wasn't so much Agent Kirkland hadn't paid the highest price but Colby now alone had to face the music without the promised backup and support.

Don pushed himself away from the counter. "So I don't think he deserves my anger. He had paid his debts." It had taken a long time to come to this conclusion. Megan, his father and even Charlie, they all had played a role until he had come to the same conclusion that they had already found.

"So how do you trust him again?"

Don laughed. "Actually it is now far easier. I don't have to wonder anymore if Colby is open to bribery or not. I now know his ability to withstand everything that gets throw at him if he just believes it to be right.

"So I do the same thing I did the last time. Start with small stuff and work myself higher until I stop to double check everything he does and watch his every move."

David was clearly at loss. "So you just trust him?"

"Didn't I just said this?" Don asked but both of the men knew it was a rhetorical question. "You know the reason, you know what happened and you have good assurance this can't ever happen again because his cover was blown on national news. He can't and won't take another undercover job."

They shared a rueful smile about the spin the media had put on the little information they had to work with.

"But you have to decide if you want to put down your foot on this base."

David shook his head. "I can't get over the fact he betrayed me. And I can't get over the fact I believed everything about him without a second thought."

"I can't help you with that, David." Don clasped him on the shoulder. "But maybe you should think about the comparison: you believed everything bad about Colby and he believed everything good about his undercover job. At the end of the day you both became victim of your youth and goodness and your trust in easy facts."

"And so what-" David threw his hands in the air in frustration. "What ...," he trailed off clearly at loss how to finished his question.

With a small smile on his face Don glanced at the floor before he looked up and David in the eyes. "It's like Megan said: forgive. Forgive yourself and forgive Colby for being human and take the first step. You can't really lose anything. You're angry and alone now. And if he isn't worth your trust then you're angry and alone but wiser. But if he is worth your trust you can win a friendship that's stronger than ever. So you actually can only gain: wisdom or friendship."

David rolled his eyes. "Now you sound like your brother. You're sure that there isn't an equation to back this up?"

Don laughed out loud. "You can always ask Charlie if you want to listen to the same lesson I did. Or my father who actually gave the lecture."

David grinned. "No. I just take your word for it." He paused until Don started to move to the door, then he asked again: "This is what you did? Took a chance?"

A dark chuckle escaped Don's mouth. "No, but I made my peace with my mistrusting a long time ago. I just learned to deal with it."

Don gave him a pointed look, grabbed his coffee and sugar and left the room with a baffled, but thoughtful David behind.

END

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Thank you for reading!


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